Friday, May 26, 2006

Nothing special



The Thursday night before Memorial Day weekend is always hectic. Rush hour traffic reports were truly apocalyptic, and it seemed that the congestion lasted long into the night. I stayed busy, though, which is always good. And, luckily, that was really the only semi-interesting thing that happened tonight.

It seemed like most people were in a good mood, probably due to the upcoming three-day weekend, and those who tipped at all, tipped pretty well. I spent quite a bit of time in the outer boroughs, including the Yankee Stadium area, Williamsburg, and Flatbush (on the way, I got a shot of the arch at Grand Army Plaza, shown above). The Yankee Stadium guy gave a large tip, the Williamsburg girl tipped the standard, and the Flatbush guys didn't tip at all. That's just how it breaks down sometimes.

My final passenger of the night also tipped nicely. But I deserved that one more than all the others because he let out a rancid fart the second he got in. But he turned out to be a really nice guy, so I almost didn't know who to feel bad for -- him or me. I think he might've been a little embarrassed and, on top of being a little grossed out, I was embarrassed for him.

Other than that, nothing too special really happened.

58 comments:

Eric Wang said...

rancid farts are hot. i do that in my cube at work all the time.

Anonymous said...

Farts in an elevator in winter are the woist. You know, when everybody has huge coats on & nobody will cop to the fact that they are the culprit.

Sicilian said...

Poor you. . . . I'd have aired out with the window rolled down. . . . Love the pictures too!
Ciao

Anonymous said...

whoever smelt it delt it

Anonymous said...

Maybe he actually shit when he saw your rates??

Killer said...

Is there a socially appropriate amount to tip if you have made the person smell your flatulence in an enclosed space for an extended period of time? I think you should post a sign in the cab.

Katy said...

nice pics. I hope the smell did not linger at least it looked like a nice nigt and you could roll down the windows for air

Patrick said...

Ha, he tipped you to smell his gas...gross!

Montgomery Maxton said...

When I come to NYC next I want you to be my cabbie. I've never taken a cab in there, they've always seemed to scare the shit out of me. You, the Patron Saint of Cabbies, remind me that it really is a human behind the wheel.

However, about the NJ drivers, I still think they are not human. ;)

Amy Jo said...

Funny comments!! I laughed my ass off!!

With that a couple things to say...
~I do that in my cube too!!:)

~Whoever denied it supplied it.

Rockenpooper said...

Embarrassed FOR him... See, we love you because... you CARE! It's all about the LOVE babe - that's why Rockenheimer keeps coming back.

Drunken Master said...

Did I just smell a whiff of waiterrant regarding the tipping, or was it just the unabashed fart?

Farts are cool!

catkins said...

next time an accidental fart happens, just say " that's five bucks".

Pat T Hat said...

Mama never said it was gonna be easy! And Gilda said "It's alway's something"!

Anonymous said...

i dont tip at all, im not rich

Anonymous said...

Are you losing interest in this blog now that you are writing a book? Are you saving the good stuff for it now? I have noticed a change in the effort here and I sure others have as well. It was a nice ride to being with,but you left us in a bad neighborhood.

Dana said...

Hey MP, So nice to have you back doing what you do!! That truly sucks, Catkins has the right idea charge em. LOFL. Nice pic of the arch at Grand Army Plaza. And anonymous, honey if you can't tip... WALK!
Peace

Scottsdale Girl said...

Not tipping someone who has just "served" you is beyond me. If you are gonna serve me food, carry my bags, or drive me around you deserve a tip. End of story.

wil said...

Farter over puker anyday!

Part of my shift "kit" is a can of air freshner. If they can fart longer than I can spray, then they're getting a free trip to the hospital, 'cause they're probably dying.

C. Nicholas Walker said...

I think that qualifies as Chemical Terrorism in New York.

Mad Cabbie said...

I remember years ago this good looking chick let a silent one out in my cab and I all most threw up. I had to roll the front windows down quick , I realy didn't care about hurting her feelings, after that disturbing smell I learned that even hotties have the potential to stink up a village.

Anonymous said...

If cab drivers are coming to expect tips, why don't you just build them into the cab ride rates? A tip is a TIP....a gratuity, and it is not required. I don't get tipped for my work, and I never did in any other job....manual labor or not.

kigogal said...

OMG! These comments are making me laugh so hard I might fart! Ha ha. DCTAXISTORIES - my fiance thinks that hot chicks fart the worst ones, cause they hold them in so long...Gross.

Hack - May I copy and paste your Yankee Stadium pic for my own personal use (or to maybe put on my blog one day, but with a link back to you?) I just love it at night and have never seen such a lovely pic.

thanks for all the fun stuff for my morning peruse through the blogs. :-)

(I was in a writing group once here in Portland, OR with a guy who was trying to write a book that was based on a cab driver, but fiction. It was good stuff, but he never could get it going and wasn't great at taking criticism from the group. Are you planning to work out your chapters with a writing group? I highly recommend it if you can find a kick-ass bunch of writers. They're great for bouncing ideas off of.) Then when you publish, you'll have to come out to Portland, Oregon - the BOOK MECCA OF THE US - to have an appearance at Powell's Bookstore, or to speak at Wordstock.

meesh said...

Oh, I feel your pain. I have been on bus and truck tours where you are stuck in a van with eight other actors for hours and hours. Yeah, there are some interesting smells. :)

I am always amazed at how you deal with all the traffic in NYC. For most people traffic is a frusterating impediment to getting to the office. For you , it's a huge part of your job! That just blows me away.

Sonia said...

I love that the title is "Nothing special", and then right under that there's a picture of the Grand Army Plaza arch.

Anonymous said...

can the smell of farts REALLY float through that tiny window in the bullet-proof plastic? i guess i shouldn't be surprised, since i can easily smell the BO of some taxi drivers through the little window.

Anonymous said...

It seems 'anonymous' may be right. Keep the blog going along with the photos.

The Lone Beader said...

'next time an accidental fart happens, just say " that's five bucks".'

Great idea!!! I would definately do this if I were you..2 funny:)

Anonymous said...

Shoulda taken a picture of the vapour fumes from his fart!

lmao

John
Montreal, Quebec

RabbitExpress said...

How is the book coming? I wonder when you have time to write. The guy who suggested that you are letting down with this blog possibly has never tried writing anything more than a grocery list.
Or, are you doing the smart thing, using the blog to write your book?
I'd like to know.

nothingman02 said...

Hey! have been a regular at your blog since late last year...had added you up too..am thinking if you could add me up too..perhaps for a while....hope you had a good trip at the west coast..

LookinginmyRearviewMirror said...

Today when I was getting off the elevator at work one of the lady underwriters were getting on. It is only a two story building and I got my water and got back in the elevator the underwriter just had left and Oh my goodness!!! That elevtor smelled really bad! I bet she let a really big, long stinker on her way uP! It was just funny to me, (except the fact that I had to smell it for my ride up) that this really professional looking lady actually has such smelly ones!

maria inés said...

Nothing happen but the beautiful pic. Best thing. we don´t have to tip a taxi in my country, but we tip the poor boy who open or shut the door of the taxi or to the poor boy who "says" hes gonna take care of your car while parking. I think its more like charity than tipping. Sometimes its not a boy but a grown up man, like your homeless. I feel so sorry fot them all.

I hate others people fart...

Anonymous said...

Pee guy at work. Fart guy in cab. You should see about making your blog scratch n' sniff.

Travis Bickle said...

I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take 'em to Harlem. I don't care. Don't make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won't even take spooks. Don't make no difference to me

TUFFENUF said...

I find it hard to believe that there are actually morons that don't tip!!!

Anonymous said...

Auto windows were the greatest invention for the fart problem.

We'd be riding along during a family vacation, heading for the Jersey Shore or something, and just as we kids in the back seat were becoming aware that something horrible had happened, Dad would hit the auto window button without comment. The windows would all roll down, 60mph air would flood the car, comics and all other paper not weighed down would begin flying around the back seat like tornado time in Kansas... and just as suddenly the windows would go back up.

Of course, in many respects, it was a mistake to roll the windows down in N.J. anyway.

Anonymous said...

In NYC all taxicab passengers are supposed to tip 15%, and this is listed in the "taxicab riders' bill of rights" that's posted in every cab. However that also says that you are within your rights to refuse a tip if the driver is smoking, burning incense, talking on a cell phone, playing the radio, doesn't know where s/he's going, or doesn't follow your "turn here" directions.

Of course some people are just jerks and don't tip even for good service.

If the tips were built into the fare, cab drivers would have no incentive to provide good service.

Anonymous said...

M.P., I've been reading your blog for a long time now, I think you're a great writer, and I love your stories.

However, I think you really need to stop obsessing over the tips people give you (or don't give you, as the case might be). It's called a tip for a reason--it's NOT part of the fare, so people don't OWE it to you, but you act as if they do and you complain when it's not high enough for your standards.

You should be happy to get a tip at all. Think about how many professions don't involve getting tips just for doing a good job--doing a good job is simply what's expected, and the reward is getting to keep your job, not extra money for properly doing what you were already getting paid for. Then you also have jobs where you literally work for your tips--you don't get a salary, the only payment you get is the tip money. You, on the other hand, get both and then have the nerve to complain about it.

Yes, you live in a very expensive place and are only trying to make a living, but so is everyone else. Even if the tip is only a few cents, you should be grateful because that's all that some people can afford to give you. You might think that they must have money to burn if they're getting a taxi, but I can tell you from personal experience that that's not necessarily so. Lots of people have to take taxis because they have no other choice, and having had to pay for a taxi (which you know yourself is very expensive) may be the very reason WHY they can't afford to give you a big tip.

I'm sorry if this comes off as being insulting, and I don't intend to change your entire belief system about being a taxi driver, but I think you might be a little happier if you viewed the tip, no matter how little it might be, as a sign of good will towards you rather than obsess over how much it was.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

Sometime between the last of last night's rains (fortunately) and 1:15 this afternoon, some fucker(s) smashed the window of the passenger door of my car, which was parked in front of the neighboring house. (I can't call it the neighbor's house, because it's vacant.) Luckily, he/she/they didn't take anything. (I had nothing of substantial value in the car.) But to add insult to injury, I had to wait two hours and ten minutes for the fucking cops to show up to take a report. The NYPD are loathe to take reports because the more crimes that are reported in a precinct, the more trouble it means for the precinct's top officers. The cop didn't even give me a piece of paper with details or a business card; he said I have to call the station in a week to get the complaint number. Good thing I'm used to NYPD officers not wanting to do their jobs, so I made sure to get a look at his shield number.

Anonymous said...

He who smells it propells it.

voodooguru said...

i think people are more interested in the smell of their own farts than they are interested in cable television. they just don't make the comparison and no survey's ever asked them about it.

Sam said...

Hmmm... Hope, for your fare's sake, it was a fart and not a SHAART! Messy messy MESSY

Cheetarah1980 said...

what's the standard tip?

jo said...

Oh,my God! I can't believe you have had all these comments about farts - is this a worldwide obsession??

Tommy said...

you blog has become boring...and you're bitter....please, please don't write a book..

EverJack1 said...

Tommy........ you've rapidly become boring. Please don't write at all.......

Rofl @ all the fart talk. It doesn't take much to start a conversation...... lol!

EverJack1

Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

So, um, at the risk of sounding like a douche, how much is an appropriate tip? Is it a percentage of the total fare like a bar tab or is there a standard amount?

R2K said...

I love the city ay night...

Aunt Esther Anderson said...

I have to tell you this is the coolest blog around. It's focused, got a clean look, and real. Much success to you!

ScarS said...

I would carry air freshner if I were you.

Anonymous said...

t.b. what do you mean by some people won't even pick up spooks?

Cindy said...

I can't believe some of these people's comments... Of course you deserve a tip, so long as you are professional and nice. I can understand (and I think you can, too) if people simply cannot afford it, but it's just like sitting down at a restaurant. I can't stand cheap people. (Funny how they post as anonymous!)

By the way, I know everyone says this but I really love your blog and look forward to reading your next update!

greg said...

Anonymous who commented before Cindy: You should be able to find the answer to your question here.

Anonymous said...

hey, travis bickle i love your posts....you talkin' a me?

get a blog so i can read it, this one is stale.


is that name for real 'eric wang'

Anonymous said...

Cindy, going to a restaurant is a voluntary choice, and yes, if you go to one, you should be prepared to shell out a little extra for a tip.

However, sometimes people have no choice but to get a tab if they need to get somewhere badly enough, and they can't always afford extra money for tipping. If you think that's not true, remember that there are people, and not necessarily those who are on the street, who literally do not have a single dollar to spare after everything else has been paid for.

Anonymous said...

I'd also like to point out the fact that there are people who work a lot harder than M.P. does and don't get a tip for it. That's not intended to be a burn towards her (because I think she's awesome), but it's true.

Oh, I publish my comments as Anonymous because I don't have or want a blog of my own.

^ said...

^