Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Private parts


After sitting at LaGuardia for an hour this afternoon (US Air lot pictured in my mirror above), I finally got back to a very slow city. Business was thin pretty much all night. But I did manage to have one interesting/strange conversation with a man who took my cab for five blocks. It went like this:

Him: "Let me guess -- you're an artist."

Me: "An artist? No. Why do you say that?"

Him: "Well, I'm an artist and you just strike me as one. You have very meditational eyes."

Me: "Meditational eyes? What does that mean?"

Him: "I can only see your eyes in the mirror, I haven't seen the rest of your face yet, but your eyes say that something needs to come out, like off your skin. Like sweat."

Me: (confused, turning on the air conditioner)

Him: "I just feel it from you.... You know, I'm married to a priest."

Me: "A priest?"

(At this point I decide I need to stop repeating everything he says because I'm annoying myself.)

Him: "Yes. We got married in San Francisco."

Me: "That's nice. That'll be $4.20 please.

Him: (counting) "One, two, three, five. Bye!"


Don't ask, because I have no idea.


The only other thing worth mentioning concerns the little girl whose parents took the time to teach her about her "private parts" while in my cab. It came up because she started talking very loudly about her "giny," screaming the word gleefully over and over again and, I assume, either touching or pointing to it.** Her parents gently told her not to talk about such things in public. When she insisted on knowing why, they responded, "Because it's private. That's why they're called your private parts."

I privately cringed and sped to their Upper West Side destination before the conversation could move on to bowel movements or some such other "private" topic.

Oh, and one other thing. I don't think I've mentioned yet that, ever since summer started, people have been jaywalking like crazy. It's out of control and I noticed today that it's finally taking its toll when I saw no fewer than five people hobbling around on crutches. Perhaps some people have learned their lesson? As someone who's been hit by a car and spent an entire summer on crutches, all I have to say is, just wait for the light. It's so much easier than breaking your foot on a car and ruining your summer.



** A little update to prevent any confusion over how this special word is pronounced, because these things are clearly important. The closest phonetic I can come up with is jie-nee, like the word "tiny" but with a J instead of a T.
I hope I never hear this word ever again.

60 comments:

jin said...

Well...you ARE an artist!
Not very many people can write as well as you do!
;-)

DS said...

never heard it called a giny that is a new one for me

Anonymous said...

There is plenty of jaywalking going on. Even Jay Leno does it.

Anonymous said...

i hope that giny story could get somewhere. Take it easy MS

wil said...

You are an artist. Both with pics and words.

The composition of your "on-the-fly" photos shows an natural "eye".

And if your prose wasn't as good as it is, do you think we'd all keep coming back?

Oh, and you are pretty, too.

Beauty AND brains. A rare combination.

Callum Cyrus said...

Oh you are an artist, trust me! Great Blog as usual, haven't been reading as often as Id like to but you made me and my pal chuckle out loud quite a bit, good luck with the cabbieing mate!

Sicilian said...

You write so well. . . . it is your expressions that I enjoy. . . Yes you are an artist. . . even if it makes you uncomfortable when people say it.
Ciao

San Francisco Taxi Driver said...

A big AMEN on the jaywalker issue. A guy walked into the street tonight with his back to the traffic. I passed behind him with less than twelve inches between us. The scariest thing is he was talking on the phone. I don't think he knows how close I drove behind him.

Drunken Master said...

Looks like the artist nailed his guess.

Could the jaywalkers be the tourists who unknowingly wander onto the street as they stare at touristy things? Maybe it's just drunks, at night.

asy said...

Pity your artist guy didn't keep counting, you know, to 10 or 20. That would have maybe made it worth listening to him.

Still, makes for an amusing day.

jeepgirl said...

I had a jaywalker as a patient this weekend. She got smacked by some sort of 4 door compact and was a trauma alert. The best part?? She got the ticket!

shibaribtm said...

While driving around in our ambulance my old partner and I used to get into some really interesting conversations. She said she taught her daughter to call her private parts her "china".... I said “china, why?!” to which she replied, “yeah, you only take out on special occasions”…

Katy said...

I love the picture - it shows you are an artist!!1

Anonymous said...

I just love reading about all of your interesting encounters. Keep them coming!!!!! :)

Pat T Hat said...

Giny Dog?

Anonymous said...

A man got married to a priest????
You know I have a little girl with developmental delays. She is 13. She got stuck on what the privates were, then she got stuck on what sex was, (her questions were almost always in public), then she started on what does it feel like?
I told her if you are married, it feels like the best love in the whole wide world, and if you arent' married, it HURTS LIKE HELL!! She quit asking (thank God), but now when she sees a couple, I see her eyeing them and I know what she is thinking. I don't know what to say if she asks about the man and the priest!!! I would think that it HURTS LIKE HELL must be the wrong answer...

The Lone Beader said...

You are a literary artist.

ivan said...

I'm curious to know why you cringed regarding the conversation of private parts?

dawn said...

Great blog! You must live a very interesting life. I actually do wait for lights in the city because the drivers are usually crazy

Anonymous said...

I love you, MP, but wait for the light?! When walking in midtown, if you wait for the light, you'll get mowed over.

kigogal said...

I've heard it called a Suzy, but never a Giny. And why DO kids always wait until they're in public to ask these questions of their parents? My guess is that it's because they really do know it's a funny subject.

annmary said...

Don't be too modest, you get probably the eyes of a real artist and the brain is working one hand with; we all can only encourage you to continue and maybe one day leaving the yellow cab company you start to write anecdotes illustrated by nice pictures.

Tableside Hack said...

BRILLIANT!

inkyhack said...

I will never, ever look at someone named Ginny the same again. Thanks alot!

R2K said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
R2K said...

That guy is such the man, looks like chocheeze.

Ed B. said...

You mean you don't wanna hear about bowel movements? :-p

I'm glad the convo didn't get anywhere else. Talk about the birds & the bees somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

I know you don't want to hear the word again, but the story about the "word that rhymes with tiny" cracked me up. I'm a mom, and it just brought back some funny memories. Thanks for the laughs today.

Shawn said...

I prefer the term "hoo-ha" myself!

lugosi said...

Back in college I knew this woman who had a small kid and was just learning to talk (er, the kid, not the mother).
A group of us were eating lunch in the cafeteria when she showed up with her daughter. Well, apparently someone had cut the mother off in traffic on the way over or something, because suddenly the kid starts saying "F*ck! F*ck!" really, really loud.
The mother then tried to convince her that the word was "duck," but the kid wasn't buying it.

Natalie said...

I spare you the names my daughter invented for the private parts. The good thing is no one would know what she's talking about. =) I figure when she's old enough not to blurt about it in public, I'll set her straight.

jo said...

That 'unmentionable' word, sounds a bit gynaecological!! I much prefer, 'woo woo' for a girl and 'wiggy woo' for a boy - I am joking!!

I really enjoyed this post, especially the conversation with the strange person. There is a saying, which comes from the Yorkshire region of England 'There's nowt so queer as folk'(queer meaning strange not gay) and your passenger certainly proves that.

xx

Anonymous said...

I'll have the china dog with mango salsa.

January said...

Love your blog. You always have great photos and a terrific story. I never leave disappointed.

MrFunkMD said...

pink taco

carolita said...

I was once crossing the street at 157th and Broadway when a grandmother with her little boy had this conversation:
- "If you'd been a girl, we couldn't have done that"
(peeing in between cars during an emergency, I gathered).
- "Why?"
- "Because a girl wouldn't have the right parts."
- "Because I have a PENIS!!"
- "Shh! everyone knows what you've got, you don't have to tell the world about it."

EverJack1 said...

I believe you were in a good mood when you wrote this segment, MP. It was filled with humor, and I loved it!

Hope to read more of your 'fun' side. :o)

EverJack1

Izzy said...

Name the politically correct word for vagina to a six year old...

Jiny

LOL what's this world coming to.

PJ said...

I just discovered your blog today and love your work. Keep it up.

Rockenheimer said...

Artist shmartist. You're funny. I'm funny too. That doesn't make me an artist anymore than it does you. I'm still coming back to read more of you though.

I'm just sick of people looking for people to worship.

Here: worship me!

Hijackqueen said...

Gene or Jinee or Gini means little. You remember that movie "I dreamt of Gene?" Yeah, it means tiny and private. There we goes again. yeah, private. duhh!

Learn that Poem said...

I think the guy in the photo is showing his Jiny/ Private Parts. I wish the guy in the photo was NOT showing his Jiny/ Private Parts. ewwww

Mr. Real Estate said...

that's really heart touhing . and the picture is also very nice.

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Tristan Vick said...

Yes, you are a great writer. You should consider publishing this in a book like, "Memoirs of a Taxi Cab Driver" or something. Nice work, keep it up!

Anonymous said...

ha hahahahahaaa!
we call it a loo-lah.
the boy private is a doo-dah 'round our neck of the woods.

Anonymous said...

(Looong time reader, first time response.)

I was down in the city on tuesday, and I can testify to the enormous amount of jaywalking. I was guilty of it a couple times, but there was literally no one around.

I haven't been down to the city in three years, it was great seeing it again. It seemed really dead as I walked around. Until after the Yankee game anyway. :P

Anonymous said...

Ok so thanks again for a laugh. I'm old now so i'll have to go to bed an sleep on it,(try to remember what the hey they called "it" back when.)I seen to think a boys was a "willy wacker". Anyways playing doctor was fun *winks...So, I take my viagra an prozac.. together right,that way if I ain't getting any i don't give a hoot. :)
Keep up, keeping up!

Billy Kess said...

You ARE an artist. Photography is a form of art - so is writing. And you do both extemely well.

Billy Kess

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha!!!
All my friends and I call it the jiny...in fact, I have a nice little studio where the word "imagine" is up on the wall...but everytime I look at it, I think.."I'm a giny"...it makes me giggle

Tay Hota said...

what do you think of the cash cab? any insight into how they set that up? love the show yself, but a) wish they use a real cabby, with some attitude ("In 1856, what was the name of... ohhhh, move that pice of shit out of my way, fucking tourists bringing cars now... anyway, in 1856...") b) how did they get a lisence for that thing? thanks-

C.T. Chua said...

What an asbolutely smashing blog...very elliptical descriptions of life as a NYC cab driver...I look forward to your blog every day!

Anonymous said...

Comon MG post one again. I cant live without your posts. I'm addicted..

Fancy Laces said...

hehehe, so many people are calling you an artist.

Boogie said...

I think more and more people are walking around these days with iPods, cellphones and a combination thereof, and as it gets warmer (as if THAT'S possible), people get more and more into escapism and thus don't pay a damn's worth of attention to the cars speeding by on two-way avenues or on open streets.

Either that or I think my theory that people get dumber as the heat increases might be true.

Nicole said...

ewwwwwwwww

that's Grade A icky.

Anonymous said...

a cabbie who can use a computer? huum, nah he must of had help.

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

The WORST jaywalkers are the brain surgeons who wait til you're almost on top of them, then decide to casually stroll right out into the middle of the freaking street, causing everyone to "lock 'em up".
As to "Giny" and her fixation, I think I'd be looking over the Who's Who for a shrink if my kid started doing that shit in public...Or asking very pointed questions of her school teachers!

marsha said...

This is an extremely extremely fun blog. so fun that you will see more of me in the future. and it's just a conincidence...really...that I wrote a piece on Malaysian taxi drivers today...moments before I popped on to your blog. I got here from http://www.patrickteoh.blogspot.com/ which is another really cool blog, right?

Anonymous said...

Damn your fine I want your giny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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