Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Guess who's still not working?

I'm back, but it seems I've got a low level case of whatever this plague is that's been going around, the one with the incessant coughing and foggy head. It seems I caught it a few weeks ago, gave it to a few friends, got better, went away, came back, and then caught it again. So I'm avoiding the cab until next week. I wonder if those Canadian cigarettes had something to do with it.

And, on top of not feeling 100% health-wise, I'm having trouble finding the enthusiasm to get back into the swing of cab driving. Have I ever mentioned that I hate not only driving a cab, but also just driving at all? Or even being a passenger in a car? I much prefer the subway, even with all the pushing and positioning that goes on down there. It's just so much less stress. Even when I'm stuck in a tunnel in a crowded train, I'm still much more at ease than when aboveground, stuck in traffic.

My tolerance for the street was never this low until I started driving a cab. And now it appears I have some sort of visceral aversion to being strapped in to any kind of road vehicle. I've also become the worst back-seat driver that ever existed. If you knew me and owned a car, you would not want to take me anywhere at all, ever, because not only would I tell you how to drive, I would also tell you exactly which route to take and why you should take it. I would not only aggravate the shit out of you, I would bore you to tears describing traffic patterns, light times, bad intersections (and why they're bad), bridge & tunnel approaches, red-light cameras, and so on.

So, yeah, I hate to drive, but I'm real good at driving other people crazy.

Perhaps this means my next adventure should be some sort of job with the MTA or the Department of Transportation.

Or not.

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

intense!

Andrea said...

Hey MP, Glad you are back in the states so we say. Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well but with the way our weather is everyone is sick. As far as your lack of ambition to get back in your cab it is understandable. Hell, take a break, you deserve it. So swig some cough syrup and take care of yourself. Also, my invitation still stands. Come'on down to Tonawanda, NY & I'll show you around Niagara Falls & we can hit Mighty Taco for a burrito and by then you will probably want to get back in your cab. In the meantime hang in their. Andrea

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling sick. I sure do hope you get better soon. Lots of soup and sleep :-)

~Katherine....Minnesota

katherine said...

Well, our cigarettes may suck, but did you at least like the beer? We take great national pride in our suds! Thanks for your blog, by the way. Your writing is wry and insightful.

....Hey! What do you think of the taxi07 project by the Parsons students? Have you seen it? I would love to hear a driver's opinion...

Feel better,
Kat

MP-4Ever.iq said...

Did you know that you have beautiful eyes?

And did you know that i wait for your postings as the nights wait a full moon?

Your blog is the cutest thing :)

geewits said...

Wow. I hope you find the next cool job to blog about. Maybe a bartender?

Living another life said...

Wow - 3 hours and not a post. Welcome to the harsh reality of what makes your blog popular. It's the fact that your life, driving a cab, is harder than our own. Now that your not working, the interest is waning. While I have been a big fan for over a year, can’t wait for the book to arrive, and am always checking for the latest post, the last several weeks have been ho hum.

When you poetically pontificate your day to day struggle with making a living in NY, I am drawn to your writing, glad to share in your experience and glad I do not have to share in your experience.

My read is you’ve already made the decision to move on. God bless you and good luck.

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

Oh damn, approval? Yea Im never gonna get first now...

Anonymous said...

"I hate to drive, but I'm real good at driving other people crazy."
Great pun!

Mary said...

Time to give it up?

blacktopbob said...

Being a Vancouver cab driver and a faithful reader I was hoping to read more of your impressions of Vancouver like; what hotel did you stay at? Was it okay? Eat at any good restaurants? Do anything special? Anything negative? Love your stuff.

Nicole said...

I hate to admit it on a cabbie's blog, but I always rather take the subway than take a cab. You chose an interesting line of work! Hope you feel better soon.

catkins said...

the great thing about living in n.y. is all the different jobs available. It's not a one horse town with one pizza joint! Find another job, and tell us about it. I've hated driving forever, but I've been cabbing for 17 years! It's the stray cat theory,if you keep feeding a stray , it keeps coming back. I keep going in, I keep getting paid. It's hard to change that. Brake free! Become a t.a. cop!
get better soon, the plague is almost over..

wil said...

Maybe you should become a TLC cop

or not.

Anonymous said...

We miss you, MP!

Cookie said...

If you aren't a cabbie, then what will you call your blog? Being a cabbie and writing here is what put you on the celebrity map. So I think you should re-think this situation.

You are sick, take time to get better and then, well, er...hit the road.

jMon said...

Melissa, no matter what you do, I hope you keep blogging! You are terrific!

Anonymous said...

i'm the first commenter, and i aint got nuthin to say

katre said...

I bet you'd be an awesome subway driver.

Sicilian said...

1st finally. Yeah !
Ciao

Anonymous said...

Driving does suck. From what I've read you have lots of opportunities, as in author, actress, and hilarious blogger!

Take care & stay safe.

the lone beader said...

How about becoming a Driver's Education teacher??? LOL!!!
:)

Anonymous said...

I'd probably become like you as well, spending so much time in a cab. Rest up...eat chicken soup or something :)
-Jana in N.C.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, I just can't wait to see that book. It's gotta be funny and interesting as hell if you wrote it.
Your real friends (the ones you know in person) must be the most entertained people on earth.
Karma to you for being so honest about yourself.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back, have missed reading... Take this down time to write your book! Can't wait.

Anonymous said...

You should become a cop and start writing tickets to cab drivers ;-)

nobich said...

I hate to drive too. I have road rage- well rage in general
Glad you're back tho.

AllBeehive said...

I just caught up on a months worth of reading and yes, you should definitely recreate your identity as a transportation engineer.

Floridora said...

Sorry to hear you have the plague. Get well soon.

Now as for future employment -- I vote for a dealer at Vegas or Atlantic City. Second choice - concierge at a mid-town hotel. Whatever - have fun.

groovin' reuven said...

sounds as if ur toast in tlc car. give it a rest for awhile and then announce that u've left the business. btw i drove in nyc for 33 yrs(yellow then black) and leftthe end of august for mostly sunny and almost everyday rain florida. drivin here black car. lot of luck to you and a healthy and happy new year with much success

EverJack1 said...

Rofl! I can see why a cabbie would be the ultimate 'back-seat' driver!

Get well, Melissa. :o)

EverJack1

Pat T Hat said...

I'm usually a little under the weather when I run out of "Canadian Cigerettes". Thankfully I live in the Bluegrass State! I hope your feeling better soon...May want to stay a wee bit cranky for your next shift. Share the joy as it were!!!

Drunken Master said...

Hopefully there are things that happen or things you could write about even when you're not driving around. Keep blogging, MP!

Anonymous said...

Hi MP -- thanks for the laugh -- not that you're sick - more about your antics as a back seat driver -I don't know you - but can clearly hear you -- relieved that I won't run into you 2000+ miles away!!! You might like riding buses in Honolulu -- went there on vacation and they pack you in like sardines -- I complained to the driver who replied that we aren't packed in like salty little fish b/c they are packed in oil and people are packed in sweat!!! Yuck!!! I hope you feel better soon!

Peace,
Janelle

Clankazoid said...

Driving instructor ?

No, that's not it.

Bicycle messenger ?

No, bad idea.

Singing gondolier ?

Well, that's it. I'm out of ideas.

Anonymous said...

My Uncle has taken on the role of backseat driver, passenger side driver & even driver. You don't ever want to be in the same vehicle as him. Trust me.

Jaelithe said...

Man, people who are complaining, lay off MP about not driving lately, okay? She's made it pretty clear from the beginning that this was not a permanent career choice. And besides, writing a book is tons of work. I am impressed that she has been able to do both jobs at the same time.

MP is an excellent writer and I am sure whatever job she takes on in the future, she will find a way to make it sound hilarious on the blog.

itsybitsygod said...

It makes me tired just thinking about driving a cab, writing about driving a cab, blogging about driving a cab, talking about driving a cab... every day. I'd be burned out too.
It's always good to read your writing though. Feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

it's kinda cool, to see the transition in your life to move onto something else.
c'mon all you readers getting shitty with melissa about not wanting drive, fair-weather friends i say...
it's ok to change, damn it.
get some perspective folks, m.p is a real person, not a t.v show. bloody'ell.

-cordelia

Matt said...

The Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles is currently hiring smartasses. Fortunately, I won't have to deal w/ that bullshit for a while....

george the atheist said...

Melissa, take a break from writing and editing your book and give a listen to the great Frank of Queens and John of Staten Island on The Right Perspective radio show every Friday nite at 10PM EST (www.therightperspective.com)...Talk radio as it was and should be!

c said...

hey there m,
i had an idea for a goofy experiment you could try when/if you get back in the cab. you know how everyone is always trying to cutt you off and then getting pissed off when you don't let them? as an experiment one day (or for an hour, whatever), see what happens if you just let everyone who WANTS to get in front of you, get in front of you. it will probably add a few minutes to the meter but it might decrease some stress too. though we'll likely reduce the pool of "favorite finger" photos. anyway, just a thought. and yes, i'm from california--how did you know?
hugs, of course,
~c

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean about not getting back on the street. I`ve been driving a NYC cab for about as long as you and a funny thing I found is if you do it everyday, having the desire to do it the next day isn`t all that hard. But if you take even one day off, the desire to get back into it is like pulling teeth! I think that`s because when you are doing it, you get sort of numb, inhuman to the BS you have to deal with, but if you take a day off you start to become more human and wake up to how much it sucks. The job to me isn`t all that bad (compared to others I`ve had)..What makes it suck like hell is the absolute effin` a-holes you have to deal with everyday. I drive in the daytime, and the rich are the absolute worst, I mean worst than the worst puking drunk... I swear to God if I get one more who tells me "they are late - go faster go faster, get in the right lane, get in the left lane, go through the light" then tells me to "keep the change" after giving me $5 for a $4.90 fare, I am going to lock the doors and drive them right back to where the hell I picked them up, I don`t give a damn if I lose my license or not, I am so sick to death of those effin` bastards.

adel said...

Wow, that amazing blog, i like it, tank's for this travel around New York , that's just a nice and good job. adel;)

Anonymous said...

It is a good thing that you are moving forward on your book and life, but bad for us that enjoy reading your blogging about the daily battles with the idiot's of the world(and the seldom good). may you find the time to write more, in any form so we the mass can enjoy it.

EverJack1 said...

Maybe you should try another job, anonymous........ Sounds like you're in line for an ulcer or a heart attack.........

EverJack1

Anonymous said...

You should try mucinex... its an OTC brand. Works wonders.

John said...

So what you need a break don't beat yourself up Forrest Lawns is full of people who should have stopped when stresses,http://dublintaxi.blogspot.com/

Anne from Denmark said...

Hey MP, sorry your not feeling well. Just wanted to let you know that I just saw you on Danish television (TV2 Denmark). I think you are amazing. Keep on doing what you are doing and you will get far.

All the best.

jo said...

Oh! I thought I had my comment in first!! No only kidding, what is it with people wanting to be first, what does it matter - if you have something to say it doesn't matter if you are first or last.

Back seat drivers - pah!!

Jo xx

PS. Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

I was just curious, and I hope I don't like I am being to nosey or pressuring you to write faster, but when do you think your book might be released. I know nothing about the process of writting a book. I am just looking forward to reading it. Also, when it it is released are you planning a book signing? The reason, and it might sound greedy, but I wold like to have a first issue signed by you.

Jake Allen said...

while you are off work, you should take a minute and check in on Journeys of Abigail. After reading your blog, I had started my own back in April. I am a flight engineer on an DC-3 cargo plane in Guatamala and Mexico. We are the unofficial delivery service of the skies for every type of trader from guns to smoke, gold to goats. JourneysofAbigail.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

being a cabbie when you hate driving--isn't that like being a surgeon who can't stand the sight of blood ? get a new gig before it's too late...

R2K said...

GET A JOB! : )

Anonymous said...

Ok so a cab question here. how much does it cost to get into your cab? Here in London ON. it is 3.00-3.25 to get in the cab and the fare goes up like every 1 min by 25 cents. We don't have yellow cabs, we ave black cabs with yellow roofs, and blue cabs with white roofs. We have limos which are lincon towncars that charge by zone instead of meters and it is 8.00 per zone. So 16.00 if you drive through 2 etc. Anyone else wanna share how much cabs in their city cost?? LOL

Rob W said...

I long for such passengers.

Dana said...

MP, Get well soon! Very cool to be a part of your journey. Takes us all away from our everyday:)

Peace

Anonymous said...

haaah, I personal would like to have some one in back seat tell me which route is preferred no drive guidence though.

G.S. said...

MP, Do whatever it takes to give up smoking. Before you know it you will be in your 50s and you will take a deep breath with no chest pain and say that was the smartest move you ever made.

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

Sorry 2 B out of the loop for so long, MP, but I had to chime in and applaud your attitude toward driving, especially living in New York: It just doesn't make sense to own/drive your own vehicle in a place with millions of people living stacked on top of each other. I love to drive, but I wouldn't if I were living on either of the overpopulated coasts.

Anonymous said...

You like to be with people so sitting back & feeling sorry is not the answer . Before lomg you will be bored & then what after the book is finished . Cut down your demanding schedule & cut down the long hours you pit in .
Here is a suggestuion to calm your nerves by getting a job on a cruise Ship & rediscovering life amonst nicer & meaningful folks ,
who have made it big in life . And above all tone down your language a great deal .
Wish you well